More thoughts

     I wanted to write a little more about Tuesday night and what happened. It's not that I didn't write about everything that happened. I wrote about it yesterday but that was more facts than perceptions. I just wanted to add some personal thoughts. 

      It was a lot more relaxed/unscripted than I thought. From what I was told prior, I was expecting to only be there to fill an extra seat. But as things changed (gotta be flexible) I had to adjust. I ended up being the only native-English speaker. Yuri asked me to explain one of the games. It's interesting explaining, in English, an easy game to a group of people whose primary language isn't English. I think it went well. After a practice round, the game went smoothly. One thing I realized last year but am constantly remembering is this. They may speak in stilted, halting English but that does not mean they are unintelligent. One person was a programmer. Another an aircraft designer. They just need practice. I have been seeing (again) why it's important to have native speakers here.

      I know being here won't easy, but it's encouraging to have an easy first outing. It took me until now to better understand how last night went.  There is obviously going to be some awkwardness initially as I find my stride but it went well. I have to keep remembering, these students are often just as nervous and uncertain talking in English as I am just talking to them. That's probably the introvert part of me coming out.

     The upside is that they started asking questions almost organically. Yuri asked if there was anything they wanted to know and the first 10 (or so) questions were about me. Later, they asked about English grammar. But, I think the way I answered some of the questions led them to asking about me and church and I didn't have to feel awkward about just bringing it up as a topic. It helps, too, that they aren't averse to hearing about me growing up in the church or being a Christian.

I had a visitor on my balcony today.

English Club

     Since Tuesdays are typically English club, and today was Tuesday, it wasn't.  The moral of the story, be flexible. Clear as mud? Good.
     Tuesday night wasn't an official meeting although we did have 5 people show up. Two were definitely college-age and the others were between 20 and 45. Tuesdays are normally an evening for a bigger group but since the two main leaders weren't able to attend, things were changed around. David Purvis and several of the members of Big City church try to have meetings with students from English club who are showing interest in the church. The idea is to have a more direct discipleship opportunity. I was invited yesterday to be part of the group. But since plans had changed, it wasn't what I expected.
     The 5 who showed up were expecting (I think) English lessons. Many people see the advertisements online and on social media. But since this night wasn't normal, we just played a few games and did some basic instruction. We didn't have a structure for the evening. I was there to back up Yuri (from the airport pick up) and provide some English explanation. Mainly, I was just there to provide examples and answer questions. The important part of the evening was to get the Ukrainians to practice the English knowledge they have and help begin to hone their conversation skills.
     I'll be able to give a better explanation once we get back to the regular schedule. That probably won't be until the middle of August after David gets back. For now, until camp starts, it'll just be some simple updates about what's happening here.

Still Alive

     As if there were any doubt.......I know I felt it this morning. Pro tip, when traveling abroad (or anywhere for that matter), drink lots of water. It's no fun thing waking up in the middle of the night with a headache from dehydration. I knew this already but rehashing old lessons is even less fun. I'm feeling better now though. Another day and I'll be right as the rain we had this morning.
     Anyways, updates. Sunday was supposedly the hottest day here in almost 80 years. I know this because I was told it at least 4 different times. For me, it felt like any other hot day. I've spent the last six summers working under a hot metal roof in a state where the humidity regularly hovered around 99%. So the drier heat felt less oppressive than what I'm used to. Today was a comfortable 21C (70F) with mild humidity from the rain. But yesterday the temperatures hit almost 35C (95F). Just being outside was tough. The apartment was a sanctuary from the heat while I was in it. Church in the morning was very warm. The three (three!) air conditioners on the wall were only effective for those sitting directly under them. But enough about the difficult things.
     At church, Pastor Max called me to the front to do an interview for the people who didn't know me. He was basically introducing me and why I am here. Not being big on public speaking, I was typically nervous but it went well. Before the service I met David Purvis. He is a missionary from the States who focuses on ministry through Big City and Liberty's English clubs. He will be flying back home for a while but will be back in early August. So unfortunately, he won't be here to help with the camp. But after he gets back, we'll dive back into the English club ministry.
     Speaking of which, I though that's what was going to happen last night. But it wasn't so. As an indication of how oblivious I've been (I'm blaming it on being jet-lagged), I failed to guess that they were planning a surprise/welcoming/initiation party for me. There is probably some very embarrassing and incriminating evidence on Facebook for those who care to search for it. Basically it involved a lot of Ukrainian traditions. I was schooled in the "finer" points of Ukrainian food, dancing, singing, and public transportation. Some of the food wasn't bad. If you have the chance to try Ukrainian-style dried fish, pickled peppers, or sallow, do it. In the future, though, I'll avoid the салат (salad) because of the copious amounts of mayonnaise. The purpose of the whole event was to introduce me, in a humorous way for the students, to some of what I'll encounter here over the next six months. For the privilege of passing the tests, I received the diploma pictured below. It's all in Ukrainian (except for my name) so if you can understand it, great. For everyone else who can't, including me, you will have to wait until I get a good translation.      Since it was held at the same time as English club, a lot of the students I met last year were there. There were also a few people I did not recognize. They are mostly new people to the club. Several regulars invite their friends to join in on the fun Sundays and Tuesdays. That meant Sunday was far from normal. Usually there is a mix of games, lessons, and discussion. But not yesterday. The post-initiation was more food with some normal drinks and a lot of conversation. Conversation is something that the English clubs help to work on. Students here learn English in school but it's often the same quality as we get in Spanish or German in America. We know a few words or phrases but we're far from conversational unless we work at it. Most of them know a few words or phrases but need help on stringing it all together into a sentence or question.
    Following their dinner and my snacking, we went back to the main room for an interview. Max had the plan to reveal a little more of my intent and motivation for coming to Ukraine. It was good, both for the students and me. I think they got a better idea of why I'm back and it also helped me with working though my reasons. I've thought about this trip for almost a year but never really locked down all of my reasons into one package. Until last night, that is. I hope they got as much out of it as I did. 
     So that's my week so far. Or actually, the end of one and the beginning of another. Sundays are the last day of the week here. Monday was a relax/catch-up day for me. Seeing as I wasn't feeling well last night, I needed the day to get over all that. But now I think things will go a lot better. Just need to stay hydrated. The rest of the week looks mostly like more settling in until Thursday. The team from church will be leaving the US then and, here, we'll be getting things ready for their arrival. I get to play pack mule when we go shopping Thursday for camp.

The Real First Update...

     OK, I've finally got a few minutes to sit down and write a proper update. As first days go, it wasn't bad. I feel like I've been going a million miles (or kilometers if that's your thing) a minute since Friday morning. For your reference, that was about 31 hours ago for me. In that time, I think I caught about 3 uninterrupted hours of sleep. Needless to say, I'll be dragging by about 17:00 tomorrow. Clocks run on military time here. It's not hard to get used to. Just subtract 12. But the flying and driving (not me, a taxi driver), and walking has added up to a jam-packed day of activity.
     The flight went well. I got to JFK about 2 and a half hours early. Check-in and departure went smoothly. The flight had a few bumps but nothing alarming. I fell asleep somewhere past Nova Scotia and woke up somewhere over Germany. Poland and half of Ukraine slipped by with only a small rough patch at a weather front. We landed about an hour ahead of what I expected.
     One thing that surprised me last year and I saw again this year was the post-landing applause. It's something we don't often see or hear in the USA. But even if the landing was a little rough, a majority of the passengers congratulate the pilots with a round of applause. It's a tradition I think we should bring back (or start).
     Customs was even easier than last year. I guess the Ukrainians aren't too concerned about Americans coming to visit. I sat and waited for my ride for about an hour. Marina Stotskaya and Yuri Vladimirovich were my guides to the place I'll be calling home for the next 6 months. It's a very nicely kept and decorated apartment on the 12th floor of a highrise building. I'll be doing a more in-depth tour of the apartment later. For now you have to enjoy the sunset view out my bedroom balcony.
     I also got a small tour around the local neighborhood. It's a typical mix of Soviet-era buildings with a few newer constructions. The main highway (Peremohy Ave) is a 2 minute walk from my apartment. The office for Big City Church is only a 10 minute walk from here. And I also have easy access to public transportation (subway, buses).
     And in case you thought this was all a vacation, think again. The language barrier is going to be an ever-present obstacle until I get a little more practice and confidence in what I know and will learn. I've been told my pronunciation is good, I just need practice. So reading won't be an issue. The two things to focus on are comprehension and building vocabulary. But I'll have a lot of time to do that.

Well, that's all for now. Good night.

Arrived in Kiev

Well, I'm finally here. The flight was shorter than last year. Only about 8 hours and 45 minutes. It was still cramped and uncomfortable but I made it. More to follow.

Well, I Didn't Expect That

Sunday was my last time at Church before leaving. I was told it was going to be the sending for my trip. In some ways it felt like any normal Sunday. But what made it stand out was the people who came up to support me and pray for me during the announcement after the sermon. Many of them put their hands on my shoulders. It was an interesting experience. It felt like the literal weight and warmth of their love, prayers, and hopes was being placed on my shoulders. But, in a way, it was also supportive. I didn't feel like I was going to fall over or be moved easily. It was comforting to know that all these people (about 30 I think) supported me and wanted me to succeed. I appreciate all the support and prayers from people so far. I just hope I can live up to their expectations.

Mid-July Update

     There is a song I want you to think about (or listen to) while reading this post. Sarah Jarosz's Long Journey. Not necessarily for the lyrics but more for the feeling. In only a single short week, I'll be leaving all that I've ever known for Ukraine. It's a massive step that I've never taken before (with the exception of 4 years at college in Texas). In college, I was only separated from home by just over a thousand miles and a phone call or email. This time it's more miles than I care to think about and quite a few time zones. The Internet is shrinking the world in many ways so the distance won't be so bad. I have Skype to call home with and email still works. But when I know about .1% of the predominant language, it'll be an interesting experience (understatement of the century). I'll need all the support (moral and prayer) that I can get.

     And now for some news on the home-front. Last Saturday night, my awesome friends and family threw a going away party for me. I wasn't expecting it but it was great to see them all in one place. A friend of mine from Ukraine was particularly impressed that they decorated in blue and yellow (the national colors of Ukraine). I kind of ruined their surprise by coming in the back way instead of where everyone was waiting but I appreciated it nonetheless.

 

They kept asking when I'd be back and if I'd stay longer. It's good to know I'll be missed. They are the kind of people I want to come back to after my time in Ukraine is done. It's only going to be about six months but it'll still be hard. Family and friends who love and support me are hard to find. I'm glad to have them.

     I have most of my things in Maryland packed up. It's more than I remember bringing. Time to start paring down. I'll be moving back to Pennsylvania on the 18th. The countdown to leaving now stands at 9 days. July 25th at 12:30 AM from JFK International Airport. 

More to follow as I'm inspired.

     And yes, as it turns out, I am somewhat of a closet bluegrass fan. Kinda, sorta, maybe. Just a little bit. Like, not even noticeably. Nuts....Next thing you know I'll be wearing a cowboy hat and saying (shudders) "y'all." Wouldn't that be horrifying? Then I'll really stand out in Ukraine.

It's weird to be talking about quitting work in just a week. Having the normal schedule of work, relax, repeat was simple. And in just over a week, that will be gone. I'll have to retrain my mind. It's not just a long vacation. It's another kind of work that I need to throw myself into wholeheartedly.

........."This jarring right-hand turn brought to you by Randomness, the Spice of Life! ©"...........

Finality. It's one of the things I hate about life. The ending of things. Changes to a life that won't ever be the same. Leaving a safe and solid existence for the unknown. That's one reason I don't like funerals. But that's another topic completely. Finality is the kind of thing that has me thrashing around in my mind looking for a way out while looking emotionless on the outside. Part of me wants things to stay the same. I like the safety of being close to home, being near my parents, being near my friends, having familiar surroundings close by. But weekly I'm reminded that the only constant in the universe, besides God, is change. People I love and respect grow older every minute. The country I was born in daily changes to something less and less recognizable.

I realized recently that this job is finally coming to an end. The thing that made it real for me was that my landlord hugged me. He never did that before. We were talking a little bit yesterday after work and he said he almost cried after I told him I was leaving. The old saying is "you don't know what you have 'til it's gone" and it's so true. I'll never really know how I impacted the lives of people here until we talk for the last time. They might let something personal slip into the conversation; like the crying thing. Those are the things I'll never get to see. I have a vague idea of what I mean to the people I interact with. And now I'm leaving for another country where connections to home are limited. To sever those connections with such finality is tough. I know I want to come back and see how things have changed in a year's time. I want to come back and visit, to see people here again. Does that mean this was home? Or rather, a home? Was my heart really here for part of the last six years? I don't know. I always told people Maryland is nice but it's not home. Was I wrong? It seems that people here (not a lot, but some) loved me enough that they will do more than miss me when I'm gone.

Over the last six years, I've been slowly learning these two things. Change is growth and constancy is stagnation. If I stay where I am now, I'll grow old and never have a real life. If I step out of my comfort zone, I can gain something unimaginable or unexpected. It's also a choice I can make. As a creature of God, I have free will to some extent. I can choose what I will do in my life. At this time in my life, I'm choosing a terrifying and exciting option. Stepping outside my comfort zone. It's exciting because of the opportunities it presents. Travel, meeting people, personal growth, sharing my Hope with people. But the terror is very real too. Safety, failure, and drawing attention to myself are things I will face daily over the next six or more months. Actually, I'll face that the rest of my life. I don't like stepping into the limelight. I don't want to fail. And I certainly don't want to throw myself into a dangerous situation without assurances of safety or, at the very least, survival.

As a counterpoint, I know I have the love, support and prayers of friends and family. I know they will help me in any way they can to succeed. And I know that ultimately, it's not people I have to please; it's God.

July update

     So I quit my job today...sorta, kinda. I gave my 2 week notice and things are moving along now. That was an ordeal in an of itself. I always get nervous talking about serious things with my boss. I guess that's normal. My hands were shaking for 20 minutes after because I was so nervous. I know it had to be done but I feel like I'm letting him down by leaving. This has been the only career I've known since leaving college and it's kind of special to me. In a way I don't want it to end because it's safe and easy (mostly). But now it's done and I can start the process of closing this chapter of my life and begin writing the next.

     I feel like I've been at this process for a year. In a way I have. Ever since returning from Ukraine last August, I've been searching for ways to go back. English teacher, MTW, vacation. The process since then has been slow as I work through the totally foreign concept of missions preparation. But now things are progressing at what feels like a break-neck pace that it'll be hard to acclimate until my feet are on the ground in Kiev. Then I'll have a whole new set of challenges. Until then, I'm planning, packing and preparing. God-willing, I'll be flying out the last weekend in July.

     As of Monday this week, I have the support I need raised and I can order my ticket to get to Ukraine. Keep an eye out here. I'll continue updating this blog for the next 6-7 months. Hopefully by then we'll have an interesting record to look back over. 

I'll talk to you again soon.