(Don't) Look Back

     OK, now that I've had some time to think, I believe I'm able to put down some words to explain my feelings of the week. Looking back, I realize that it's been quite the adventure. Personally, I was tested to different limits than I'm used to. There were lessons on both sides; for the kids and for the teachers. Challenges were placed in our hands. It was up to us to juggle them all and see what might come crashing down. As it turns out, a few things did fall down throughout the week. But it wasn't a disaster. In the end, I believe our goal of planting seeds was highly successful.

     Last Saturday, I asked a series of questions back before the camp even began. "Will I be able to do this? Have I over-sold my capabilities/skills/knowledge? Am I really up for this challenge?" It turns out the answers were yes, no, and yes. I really was able to do it. But it wasn't only me. I had a lot of good help. God supported me all the way, even when the heat and kids were making me cranky. Anna and Katya were invaluable to the effort throughout the week. I don't think we could have made this camp a success without them. I am truly thankful for their help.
     It also turns out I didn't oversell my capabilities, skills, or knowledge. You never know your limits unless you test them. You will not truly know if you can do something without standing at the edge and taking that next step. My comfort zone was, and still is, with university students. People closer to my age are a lot easier to handle. But now I know that I can teach young kids as well.
     Sometimes it's hard to honestly evaluate your own performance in something. Personally, I have a hard time saying if I did something well or not. Usually, I'll see the glaring issues and miss the small successes. I received a note on Saturday that told me, even though I don't agree, I am great with working with kids. After seeing the results of this past week, I guess that's true. I'm still not confident enough to say I want to work with kids again. (I will this do that again this summer though. Next month actually in English camp #2)

     On the subject of challenges, none of us were immune to feeling the taxing effects of heat, stubborn children, long lesson planning, and uncertainty. The weather report for the week wasn't comforting. The only consolation we had was that it would cool off slightly as the week went on. It started out in the low 30's (Celsius) and moved only to the high 20's. The office provided little ventilation other than opening windows. As the teacher though, I got to situate myself in front of the class next to our only fan. It was a constant companion through the week.

    I don't have kids. Obviously, Brian. By that I mean, I've never had to deal with discipline and punishments. So when any one of our more contrary students started acting up, I was often at a loss for what to do. I left the tongue-lashing to my Ukrainian-speaking co-teacher Anna. But in a few instances, I doled out simple discipline like making them move to a different chair or taking away distractions. But one six-year-old child in particular was the source of much consternation. At times, I had to physically pick up this stubborn, little boy and set him in his chair. Due to the language barrier, the best I could do was say, "No, stop." I'm sure not much of what we were saying stuck in his head. At best, I can only pray that something made an impact.

     Lesson plans for the week were a "night before" affair when the week started. By Thursday though, we managed to get it all done without needing to stay late afterwards. But that still meant we didn't leave the office until around 9PM. Before I left for Oleksandriya, I had prepared five lessons that I planned to teach to an advanced group. When I arrived and all the team changes had settled, those lesson plans went out the window. Anna and I had to prepare, from scratch, basic vocabulary, grammar and games for each English lesson. We combined both skill levels into one class for each morning and afternoon session. Since we didn't really know the skill level of each child before the camp started, we operated under the assumption that each child had minimal working knowledge of English. In reality, they did know some. Mostly simple phrases they've been taught in school. But only a handful from the afternoon could string together a sentence in English. It would have been great to be able to teach them more for their level. But with our limited resources, that was not an option.
     Likewise, we needed to plan Bible lessons for each day except Wednesday. Sasha gave us some guidelines early on for what he envisioned the lessons would include. For the first three, we focused on Genesis 1, 2, and 3. Sasha wanted them to learn about Creation, man in the likeness of God, and the Fall. Those were for Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Friday we finished off with a simplified look at the Gospel and who Jesus is. Throughout the week, I tried to tie the cartoons to what we were learning about. The first episode the children watched was about Lucifer's rebellion and the Fall. It was a great resource to reference for each of the later lessons.
     Anna and I greatly appreciated when the cartoon was turned on. It (usually) meant we had a chance to sit and regroup. Other than a few mass migrations to the bathroom, it was usually quiet enough that we could begin planning for the next day's lessons. Playing the VeggieTales film Jonah on Wednesday allowed us to start catching up on lesson planning for the remaining days.

     The lessons for me were many throughout the week. I was able to pass along the wisdom of "always be flexible." But for the things I learned, my plate was full of planning, teamwork, discipline, leadership, and creativity lessons. Those could occupy a blog post in and of themselves. But I'll limit it to one I didn't learn until after the week was over.
     My co-teacher Anna told me she had to learn how to step back and let me do the teaching. I (erroneously) thought her stepping back to be a translator was because of traditional gender roles in Ukrainian society. She explained to me on Saturday that by her nature, she wants to be in control. She wanted to teach. However, since I'm the American and, ostensibly, the local expert in English, I should have been the one to teach the kids. And she was right. By nature, I'm not one to seek out leadership or to stand in front of crowds. But in this case it was exactly the thing I should have done from the start. The kids came to learn English. Who better to hear it from than someone who has been speaking it his whole life?
     The challenges and lessons of the week were many. The biggest one I had to deal with was disillusionment with the lack of immediate progress or success. As the week went on, I needed to constantly remind myself of the purpose of the week. We weren't in the business of changing lives. We weren't in the business of converting minds and hearts. Making the seeds grow is God's job. The work we needed to focus on was planting those seeds in as many hearts as we could.
     So, after having some time to think about it, what is my verdict? I'm glad I did it. By no means was it easy. I would definitely think long and hard about doing it again. However, with the experience we gained, I'm sure any future effort would run much more smoothly. Thanks to the hard-won tools we now have, I think future camps will benefit from that experience.